“The Power of Forgiveness, pt. 2 (Genesis 43:18 - 45:15)” | 8/15/2021
Genesis 43:18 - 45:15 | 8/15/21 | Will DuVal
We are winding down our sermon series on the book of Genesis, and this morning is part 2 on “The Power of Forgiveness”. We’ve been tracking the life of the patriarch JOSEPH, and last week we observed his struggle to FORGIVE his 10 older brothers who 20 years prior had sold him into slavery in Egypt. Joseph had been promoted to vice-Pharaoh, #2 in all of Egypt, and his brothers have come to Egypt in search of food in the midst of a massive famine. And God, the most important character of ALL, who’s been staying somewhat behind the scenes thus far, has nevertheless been sovereignly orchestrating all these events, as we’ll see, not only to work forgiveness and reconciliation into the life of this broken family, but to save a great multitude of people.
But we said last week that with ANY passage of Scripture, we want to know not just what it SAYS, not just what it MEANS, but how we ought to RESPOND; how does God want to use His word to CHANGE us? So this story isn’t just ancient history; it also offers us a MODEL for how you and I today ought to (or ought NOT to) seek and to show forgiveness when we have wronged, or are wronged by, others.
And more than anything, this story points us ahead to JESUS, the better Joseph, who forgives our sin - purchases our forgiveness - with His own shed blood on the cross. That is the gospel, the good news of Christianity.
But to quickly recap for those of you who missed part 1 last Sunday, we examined the first SIX of TEN steps in the process of “forgiveness”. Remember, there are TWO SIDES to forgiveness, the “offending” party (Joseph’s brothers, here), and the “forgiving” party (Joseph), as indicated by the “O”s and “F”s in your bulletin; they alternate. And we’ve ALL found ourselves at various times both in need of forgiveness, as well as in need of extending forgiveness. So the 6 steps we traced last week were:
#1 - If you have “offended” someone: Go WORK IT OUT. (42:1-5). Twenty years later, Joseph’s brothers STILL hadn’t sought him out in repentance. But it’s NEVER too late to do the right thing. Go work it out.
#2 - If you’re the one doing the “forgiving” (F): then first of all, you need to LISTEN (42:6-14) - Joseph refused to listen initially, because of his deep woundedness BY his brothers; secondly, forgiveness makes no DEMANDS (42:15-16) - Joseph creates a list of hoops to make his brothers jump through, a series of TESTS to run them through before he’ll forgive them; but true forgiveness, CHRIST-like forgiveness makes no demands, attaches no strings - and thirdly, we have to SOFTEN our hearts (42:17-20); after letting his brothers sweat it out in prison for 3 days, Joseph eventually softens and allows all but ONE of them to return home. He’s not ready to fully forgive yet, but he’s softening.
#3 - Next, if we’ve wronged someone, we ought to Feel REMORSE. (42:21-22) These brothers are still dealing with the GUILT of having sold Joseph into slavery 2 decades ago. And Grief… guilt... can be GODLY if they lead us to repentance. So feeling remorse and brokenness for our sin is vitally important.
#4 - If your wrongdoer COMES to you to work it out, full of remorse, then fourthly: You Give GRACE. (42:23-25) Joseph not only allows his brothers to return home, he sends them with saddlebags full of grain, with provisions for the trip, free of charge. Likewise, we give others grace THEY don’t deserve, even when they’ve wronged us, because of how much grace we know that WE’VE received in Christ.
#5 - An offender needs to Process his or her GUILT (42:26-38) - Joseph’s brothers are clearly still working through that - then take RESPONSIBILITY (43:1-10) - Judah convinces his father Jacob to let them take Benjamin with them back to Egypt by taking personal responsibility for Benjamin - and thirdly, we need to make AMENDS. (43:11-15) They don’t return to Joseph empty-handed; they want to settle their account, to make things right. We need to offer more than an apology; when we’ve wronged someone, we seek to make amends.
Finally, #6 - we Give EVEN MORE GRACE. (43:16-17). Joseph, still in disguise mind you, he invites his brothers into his palace, to DINE with him. Much like JESUS, the better Joseph, who offers us a seat at his heavenly banquet table.
And to those6 steps we’re going to add an additional FOUR steps in the forgiveness process this morning, picking up in ch43, v18 and running all the way through the middle of ch45. Lot of ground to cover, but before we do ANYTHING else, let’s go to the Lord together in prayer...
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#7 - When you’ve wronged someone and you’re seeking forgiveness, the seventh action item is to Come CLEAN. (43:18-22)
We pick the story up in ch43; Joseph (still incognito) has just invited his brothers into his palace; they don’t know he just wants to have lunch with them; they assume he wants a reckoning for the money they found in their saddlebags when he’d sent them back to Canaan, so v18: “the men were afraid because they were brought to Joseph's house, and they said, “It is because of the money, which was replaced in our sacks the first time, that we are brought in, so that he may assault us and fall upon us to make us servants and seize our donkeys.” 19 So they went up to the steward of Joseph's house and spoke with him at the door of the house, 20 and said, “Oh, my lord, we came down the first time to buy food. 21 And when we came to the lodging place we opened our sacks, and there was each man's money in the mouth of his sack, our money in full weight. So we have brought it again with us, 22 and we have brought other money down with us to buy food. We do not know who put our money in our sacks.””
They come clean. They could have tried to HIDE the money they found in their sacks. Chalk it up to God’s grace. But with GUILT still weighing on their consciences, they decide this must be God’s punishment instead, so we need to fess up. “Hey: we found the money; but God’s honest truth: we didn’t steal it.”
Step #7 - Coming Clean - may be the HARDEST step in the forgiveness process, at least for the offender. I’ve shared with you all my own past struggles, continued struggles, in some ways, with sexual sin. By the way, I don’t love reminding the church I pastor of how much of a SINNER I really am, but I do it for three reasons:
#1 - so no one is EVER tempted to put me up on a pedestal. That’s a burden I don’t DESERVE and God knows I can’t BEAR. I would say, “I’m just like you,” but the fact of the matter is, I’m a far WORSE sinner than a lot of y’all! I am “least of the pastors”; not worthy to be CALLED a pastor… a “Christian”! “But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain.”
The second reason I keep sharing my sin from the pulpit is because it’s important for my own personal, ongoing spiritual health. We read Proverbs 28:13 last week: “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.” That’s equally true, maybe especially true, of pastors.
But thirdly, and most importantly, I share my sin with you as a TESTIMONY to God’s faithfulness in my life, and as an EXAMPLE of how I think God wants YOU to engage, personally, with His word as well. Remember: not just observation and interpretation, but application and transformation.
I’ll never forget the moment, years ago, when Polly confronted me and said, “Will, I think you have a problem” and by the grace of God, instead of arguing and getting defensive and gaslighting her into thinking SHE was the one with the problem, I replied, “I think you’re right.” And I started the process of coming clean. Stepping into the light. But by far the HARDEST part in that whole process was what they call “full disclosure”. In Step 4 of the 12-step recovery process, you “make a searching and fearless moral inventory” - basically, list ALL your sins. Let me tell you: that is NOT fun. But just when you think it can’t get any harder, step 5 is “we admit to God, to ourselves, and to another person the exact nature of our wrongs”. THAT is even harder. James 5:16 commands us to “confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” THAT is harder. Making the list was hard; SHARING the list with my WIFE, who I had sinned AGAINST - that was much harder. But it’s so vitally important, to bring your sin into the light.
Perhaps some of you need to come clean this morning. Maybe for something that seems small - “Honey, I lied; I told you I spent $90 on that pair of shoes; it was actually A HUNDRED and 90…” - maybe, like me, it’s for something much bigger.
“When I kept silent, my bones wasted away… I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.” (Ps 32:3-5) You can come clean and experience freedom this morning. Step into the light.
#8 - If your offender comes to you, remorseful, taking responsibility, coming clean, seeking to make amends; after you have given grace, and given even MORE grace, then step #8a is - Give LAVISH Grace. “Profuse; given in GREAT amounts, without limit”. Lavish.
V23: the brothers are afraid they’re about to get axed, but Joseph’s servant replies ““Peace to you, do not be afraid. Your God and the God of your father has put treasure in your sacks for you. I received your money.” Then he brought Simeon out to them (poor Simeon, who’s been rotting away in custody for 2 years at this point). v24 And when the man had brought the men into Joseph's house and given them water, and they had washed their feet, and when he had given their donkeys fodder, 25 they prepared the present for Joseph's coming at noon, for they heard that they should eat bread there.”
V34: “Portions were taken to them from Joseph's table, but Benjamin's portion was five times as much as any of theirs. And they drank and were merry[b] with him.”
Not only does Joseph not KILL them, in retribution; remember: MERCY is NOT getting the BAD thing you deserve. But GRACE is even better; it’s getting the GOOD thing you don’t deserve. Joseph brings them in, gives them water, food, food for their donkeys, even has his servants wash their FEET.
Remind you of anyone else? Who personally fed, and washed the feet, even of his betrayer, Judas? Who showed not just mercy: “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do”, but GRACE: “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise.”
Jesus is the better Joseph. I told you last week: Joseph sat his brothers at the kiddy table. V32: “They served [Joseph] by himself, and [his brothers] by themselves, and the Egyptians who ate with him by themselves, because the Egyptians could not eat with the Hebrews, for that is an abomination to the Egyptians.” See, the Egyptians won’t eat with the Hebrews. And they know that Joseph is a Hebrew. But he’s ALSO vice-Pharaoh, so he’s sort of beneath them, ethnically, but he’s also their MASTER. Meanwhile, Joseph is still pretending to be Egyptian to fool his brothers, so he refuses to eat with them. It’s also symbolic of the fact that he hasn’t relinquished his power OVER them, and forgiven them, just yet.
You ever attended a dinner party like this before? A wedding where the bride’s parents are divorced and can’t be in the same room, but the GROOM’s mom ALSO won’t sit with her sister because they had a falling out and aren’t speaking. And then Uncle Joe gets kinda racist after a couple drinks so you can’t sit HIM next to… you know, it all gets very complicated.
You know where it’s NOT gonna be complicated? In Heaven. At the Lord’s banquet table. I was texting with someone else this past week, upset with me, leaving the church; I said, “Can we at least sit down and talk things out, even if you still end up leaving? Cuz I don’t want it to be awkward if Jesus sits us next to each other at HIS table for the rest of eternity!”
At the Wedding Feast of the Lamb, there’s NO separate seating; just one table. You (I pray!) and me, partying with Jesus, for the rest of eternity! THAT is lavish grace!
What would it look like for you to give LAVISH grace to your offender? Jesus said, “Forgive 70 times 7 times” - maybe it means forgiving that really difficult family member for committing the SAME sin he/she has committed 490 times already.
Maybe it means seeking not just forgiveness but reconciliation, even when God has given you an OUT; the Bible makes exceptions to its own “no divorce” rule in cases of sexual immorality or abandonment; maybe lavish grace means “I could file for divorce, biblically, but by God’s grace and with his help, I am willing to try and make this marriage work.”
The story is told of Corrie Ten Boom, who two years after her release from a Nazi concentration camp, while she was speaking at a church in Munich, came face to face with one of her former guards who had stripped, beaten, and mocked her every day for years. She recalls their conversation:
“He said, “You mentioned Ravensbrück in your talk; I was a guard there… But since that time, I have become a Christian. I know that God has forgiven me for the cruel things I did there, but, he asked… “will you forgive me?”
[And he held out his hand…]
And I stood there — I whose sins had again and again to be forgiven — and could not forgive. [My sister] Betsie had died in that place — could he erase her slow terrible death simply for the asking?
“Jesus, help me!” I prayed. “I can lift my hand. I can do that much. You supply the feeling.”
I thrust out my hand.
And as I did, an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes.
“I forgive you, brother!” I cried. “With all my heart.”
For a long moment we grasped each other’s hands, the former guard and the former prisoner. I had never known God’s love so intensely as I did then. But even so, I realized it was not my love. I had tried, but did not have the power. It was the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Eric Metaxas, 7 Women, https://www.faithgateway.com/forgiveness-corrie-ten-boom/#.YRg5rCNuew4)
Friends, THAT is lavish grace. Supernatural grace. The power of forgiveness.
But there is a second half to point #8: I told you last week that forgiveness is different from RECONCILIATION. Forgiveness is choosing not to hold on to the past. Reconciliation is walking forward into a new future, together.
And even as Joseph lavishes abundant grace on his brothers, he still TESTS (44:1-13) them before being reconciled with them. And I believe that is BIBLICAL.
We’re into ch44 now: “Then [Joseph] commanded the steward of his house, “Fill the men's sacks with food, as much as they can carry, and put each man's money in the mouth of his sack, 2 and put my cup, the silver cup, in the mouth of the sack of the youngest”, Benjamin.
V3: “the men were sent away with their donkeys. 4 They had gone only a short distance from the city. Now Joseph said to his steward, “Up, follow after the men, and when you overtake them, say to them, ‘Why have you repaid evil for good?[a] 5 Is it not from this that my lord drinks, and by this that he practices divination?” Scyphomancy - using a cup or goblet to predict the future - was a common form of divination in ancient Egypt; Joseph is once again playing the part of the pagan, although this time he’s outright LYING about it, to make this silver cup out to be his most PRIZED possession; it’d be like stealing President Biden’s facemask, or President Trump’s giant mural of himself. Joseph’s brothers are in BIG trouble.
V7: “They said to him... “Far be it from your servants to do such a thing! ...v9: Whichever of your servants is found with it shall die, and we also will be my lord's servants.” ”
But v10, the servant said: ““He who is found with it shall be my servant, but the rest of you shall be innocent.””
Do you see what Joseph’s doing here? He wants to see if his brothers have truly changed? Or if, when their necks are on the line, they’ll sell their own brother up the river again? Are they gonna do poor Benjamin like they did Joseph all those years ago? After all, he’s Daddy’s new favorite. Maybe they’ve been WAITING for an opportunity to throw him under the bus anyway...
v11: “Then each man quickly lowered his sack to the ground, and each man opened his sack. 12 And he searched, beginning with the eldest and ending with the youngest. And the cup was found in Benjamin's sack. [Moment of TRUTH…] v13 Then they tore their clothes, and every man loaded his donkey, and they returned to the city.” To EGYPT. Joseph’s servant gave them an out: “the rest of you shall be innocent”; they could have said, “Good luck, Benji” and headed back home to Canaan with their grain, told their father that Benjamin got eaten by some more wild animals.
But they PASS Joseph’s test. They stick WITH their younger brother. Because they have changed.
You might FORGIVE someone who wrongs you without changing, without remorse or repentance; turning from their sin. But you can’t RECONCILE with them. At least you SHOULDN’T. I had to make another call this past week - it was quite a first week back from vacation! - but apparently we had verbal altercation here in the middle of our foyer during the 9:00a worship service last week, while I was in here preaching on FORGIVENESS! But I had to make a difficult phone call to explain why YES, the church is of COURSE a place of GRACE, and forgiveness, but if you’re gonna stay at this church, brother, you’re gonna have to CHANGE. Cuz we’re not gonna have you attacking folks on Sunday mornings. We can forgive the past, but there’s no path FORWARD, if you won’t change.
In Matthew 18, Jesus instructed: ““If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault… If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen...” will NOT repent, will NOT change, then there’s NO reconciliation; in fact, you are to “let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” An outcast.
That can be REALLY tough to discern, practically - when there is hope of a restored relationship with this person who has hurt me, and when I am merely being called to FORGIVE them, and let GO of the past, but without that hope of a shared future. Because the decisive factor is REPENTANCE. And it’s a really hard thing to judge in another person’s heart. Sometimes, like Joseph, you TEST for it. They have to earn your trust back.
#9 - If you’ve wronged someone bad enough, you need to be willing to LAY DOWN your life in recompense. (44:14-34)
Watch how Joseph’s brothers react, back in Egypt; v14: “When Judah and his brothers came to Joseph's house… they fell before him to the ground… And Judah said, “What shall we say to my lord? ...How can we clear ourselves? God has found out the guilt of your servants (Judah assumes that God himself must have placed the cup in Benjamin’s sack, to repay them for what they did to Joseph all those years ago); behold, we are my lord's servants, both we and he also in whose hand the cup has been found.””
But Joseph tests them ONE last time, just to be sure; v17: ““Far be it from me that I should do so (take ALL of you into servitude)! Only the man in whose hand the cup was found shall be my servant. But as for you, go up in peace to your father.””
But instead, JUDAH launches into a 17-verse long monologue for the rest of the chapter, explaining how their father Jacob didn’t WANT to risk sending his favorite son Benjamin along for the trip. And Jacob couldn’t SURVIVE the loss of yet another favorite son (he of course thinks that JOSEPH is dead).
So Judah concludes, v33: “Now therefore, please let your servant (me, Judah) remain instead of the boy as a servant to my lord, and let the boy go back with his brothers. 34 For how can I go back to my father if the boy is not with me? I fear to see the evil that would find my father.””
Do you see what Judah is DOING here? He’s willing to LAY DOWN his life, he is INTERCEDING, for his brother, and why is he doing it? Out of LOVE for his father. Friends: that’s about as clear a picture of the gospel as you’re gonna GET in all the Old Testament, 2,000 years before Christ; it’s probably why God chose to send Jesus in the line of Judah - because of his self-sacrificial intercession for his brother, out of LOVE for their father.
In the same way, Jesus loved HIS Father so much, that he was willing to lay down his life for you, for me, his brothers and sisters, in our place. Praise GOD!
But Jesus is the BETTER Judah, the LION of Judah. Judah was guilty concerning Joseph; remember, the whole IDEA to sell him into SLAVERY back in ch37 came from who? JUDAH! And yet Benjamin was innocent concerning the silver cup; he hadn’t actually stolen it. And while Judah’s sacrificial offer is NICE, Joseph doesn’t even take him UP on it! He’s gonna let ALL the brothers go free.
But friends, Jesus was TRULY innocent; the spotless Lamb of God.
And you and I were truly guilty; we didn’t DESERVE his intercession.
And yet, Jesus didn’t just make a nice offer to prove he was willing to lay down his life for us; he DID it, on the cross, for 6 excruciating hours. As he bore the full weight of every sin that every believer has ever committed. And the separation that our sin causes, between us and our perfect heavenly Father.
Jesus endured that for YOU. Because he LOVES you.
We wronged HIM, and yet Christ laid down his life for us. The least WE can do in response, when we have wronged someone ELSE, is to be willing to lay our lives down. If you’re not yet in the posture of JUDAH, flat on your FACE, before someone who you recognize has every right to STEP on you while you’re down... they’ve got the motivation; you have DEEPLY hurt them. But Judah is so genuinely BROKEN he doesn’t care; he says, “Vice-Pharaoh: my life is in your HANDS.” Utter humility.
Have you been there? Have you sinned against someone and had to throw yourself at their feet, BEG for forgiveness… or do you have too much self-respect for that? Too much pride?
Most people will miss heaven because they have too much self-respect. They’ll see people on the narrow, not-so-popular path, sprawled out on their faces, rending their garments, crying out “God, have mercy on me, a sinner!”, and they’ll think, “Dude, get it TOGETHER! You’re EMBARRASSING yourself! I don’t know where THAT path leads, but it’s NOT for me!” As they pass by, on the much wider, more comfortable path, that leads to destruction.
True repentance says, “My life is in your hands.” I KNOW what I deserve. But I’m asking you, I’m BEGGING you, to show me mercy instead. Forgiveness.
And on the other side of it, when your offender comes to you like that, laying down their life - “do with me as you see fit”; how ought we to respond as believers? Three final imperatives:
#1 - Let it GO (45:1-5). Elsa sang it best: “Let it go.”
To me, that may be the best way of illustrating forgiveness: letting go. Remember, our title is “The POWER of Forgiveness”. When someone has wronged you, and they come to you seeking forgiveness, in a very real sense you now have POWER over them. You hold the gavel. You are the arbiter of their sentence.
Forgiveness means letting go of the gavel. In our flesh, we wanna beat ‘em to DEATH with it! Let it go. Let it go.
Joseph finally does; ch45: “Then Joseph could not control himself before all those who stood by him. - WATCH OUT! Here come the waterworks… - He cried, “Make everyone go out from me.” So no one stayed with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. 2 And he wept aloud, so that the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard it. 3 And Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still alive?” But his brothers could not answer him, for they were dismayed at his presence.” Their hearts SANK. “Oh NO! This has been JOSEPH all along! We’re DONE for!”
But watch this: v4: “So Joseph said to his brothers, “Come near to me, please.” And they came near. And he said, “I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. ”
And here’s the most amazing part: “now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here”. Talk about letting it GO?!
He says, “I know you sold me like a piece of PROPERTY… SLAVERY… one of the worst things you can think up DOING to another human,” But Joseph says, “You can quit beating yourselves UP about it now.” Why?
Because #2, Joseph trusts in God’s REDEMPTION (45:5-9).
REDEMPTION - God’s power to take evil and turn it, and use it for good - just listen to how Joseph processes the past 20 years of his life, all that has transpired:
“God sent me before you to preserve life. 6 For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are yet five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvest. 7 And God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors. 8 So it was not you who sent me here, but God. He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house and ruler over all the land of Egypt. 9 Hurry and go up to my father and say to him, ‘Thus says your son Joseph, God has made me lord of all Egypt.”
It’s a lot harder to stay MAD, to stay BITTER, unforgiving, if you believe, TRULY believe, that NOTHING happens outside of God’s providence - Ephesians 1:11 - and that God is working ALL things together for our GOOD - Romans 8:28. I stayed mad at God for YEARS after my father left, because I refused to believe both those promises of God. That He’s SOVEREIGN. And He’s GOOD. I thought, “It’s got to be one or the other! Either God CAN bring my dad back, and He won’t because He doesn’t LOVE me; or He isn’t ABLE to. But He can’t be Sovereign AND Good!”
And it took me YEARS for me to realize that what seemed like the worst thing that had ever happened to me was actually one of the BEST things. Because God ultimately used it to BREAK me, and drive me to HIM.
And when you accept that, when you decide to LET IT GO, and trust in God’s Redemption, that he’s working even this offense, this WRONG that this person committed against you, God’s using it for your good, then that FREES you to lastly, to give RIDICULOUS GRACE (45:10-15).
V10: “You shall dwell in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near me, you and your children and your children's children, and your flocks, your herds, and all that you have. 11 There I will provide for you, for there are yet five years of famine to come, so that you and your household, and all that you have, do not come to poverty.’ ...Hurry and bring my father down here.” 14 Then he fell upon his brother Benjamin's neck and wept, and Benjamin wept upon his neck. 15 And he kissed all his brothers and wept upon them. After that his brothers talked with him.”
No one gives more grace than the person who realizes how desperately in need of it he himself was, and who FOUND it in Christ. Joseph needed grace in the pit. In Potiphar’s palace. In his prison cell. And at every turn, God has met him with yet more grace. Brothers and sisters, if God has saved you through Christ’s work on the cross - that is YOUR story too. How can we, who have received so MUCH grace, not also give it freely, to others. “Go and do likewise.” Let’s pray...