Ask the Pastors S5 E13: “Why doesn’t the Bible condemn polygamy?”

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Welcome to Ask the Pastors a segment of the West Hills Podcast where you have the opportunity to ask your questions and receive biblically grounded, pastorally sensitive answers from our pastoral staff. My name is Brian. I'm your host and one of the pastors. I'm joined by our lead pastor, will. That's me, pastor Austin. Hello, and Pastor Thad. Hey everyone. And our question today comes to us from Andrea Castle. It was actually an after the sermon question from, you said Ephesians five, is that what it was? I was trying to remember

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Talking about marriage two weeks ago

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That I just forgot to include in the podcast, so forgive me for that, Andrea, and excited to address this question she asked. Godly marriage is between one man and one woman. Why do we say David was a man after God's own heart when he had wives and concubines? It seems like polygamy was prevalent in the Old Testament, but never directly rebuked.

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It's a good question, and I found an article on desiring God's database called Why did God Allow Polygamy by a Fellow by the Name of Sam Ahmadi? I found it very, very helpful to look through some of this. One thing that I think is important to remember when we read particularly the Old Testament, is so much of the Old Testament is in the genre of narrative and from the text that the sermon was being preached on was Ephesians. Ephesians got a lot of instructions. It's Paul saying, this is what Christ has done, and in light of the Christ event, this is what we should then do. Of course, most of the Old Testament is written more in the form of story, and it's important I think to identify that the biblical authors of the Old Testament, oftentimes, in fact I would say most of the time, don't give us sort of a conclusion statement. This is the moral that you're supposed to take away. Instead, they give us a situation in a story form and invite us in to consider what's gone right in the story and what's gone wrong in the story. It's

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Descriptive, not prescriptive.

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Bingo. So that's

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What not getting prescriptions about, here's how to do marriage, but descriptions. Here's how other people did marriage. Let me describe that for you and

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Let's see. Let's see how happens it works. So to be sure there is commandment surrounding marriage, especially in light of creation. So whenever we look at the broader issue of how the Bible establishes an ethic, an ethical code, we have to look at the Bible in its entirety. So in Genesis two, we are told basically the concepts of its creation, designs for marriage between one man and one woman. The law is repeated in Exodus 20. Even the law specifically about Israel's kings and the relationships to wives is outlined in the laws of kings in Deuteronomy. Just as a reminder where you are in the story, Genesis creation before sin, Exodus after sin, Israel's at Sinai being given the law, Deuteronomy the second time the law is given and they've not yet gone into the land. They don't even have a king yet, and there are provisions then in place for what happens if they do have a king, what law should they live by? And Deuteronomy 17, I just had it up here,

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17, 17, 17, 17, 7.

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Thank you. It basically says, no, he should not take multiple wives, and yet David does, and not only does David, there's all kinds of instances of polygamy in the Old Testament. Well before that, early on in the pre-flood period, Mack has multiple wives and his life ends in all kinds of violence and disaster. Abraham commits polygamy and it goes horribly for Abraham. Jacob commits polygamy. It goes terribly for Jacob. The question specifically that Andrea asked is around David, and so how is it that David is a man after God's own heart and yet he seems to have many, many wives,

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  Which eight, at least that we know of just for context could be more, could be more eight at least. And as you said, Solomon, his son, not one up to 690 seconded, I mean he had 700 wives.

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  If we sort of zoom out and look at what's going on in the story, we see David's rise to power and along the way he's doing things that are good, but he is also collecting wives among other things. And then the climactic moment of his failure comes in the episode with Bathsheba. And after the moment Bathsheba, there isn't then this phrase, thou therefore shall not have multiple wives. Instead, everything begins to go wrong. In David's life, his first child with Bathsheba dies. His son Amon rapes his daughter. Tomorrow, his son Absalon goes back and murders Amon and eventually Absalom stages a Cota. We go just beyond David. You mentioned Solomon. Solomon has many, many wives. He goes down to Egypt and gets horses, which he's commanded specifically not to do along all the laws for Israel's kings. Then he has two sons. What happens? The unthinkable happens. The kingdom divides, they go into war. Eventually the temple is destroyed, paving the way for the need for Christ.

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  In one kings 11 three specifically ties so much of that back in Solomon's case back to his foreign wives, it says Solomon head, many wives and his foreign wives led him astray and die idol idolatry. So it specifically pinpoints the polygamy and in his case specifically with Nonis Israelite women as the sort of his Achilles heel, the thing that ultimately brings the whole rest of him, and not just him, but again the kingdom, right? That's the divided kingdom,

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  Which is exactly what God said would happen in Deuteronomy 1717. He must not take many wives or his heart will be led astray.

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  Yeah, I do want to address some passages that do seem to endorse polygamy. For example, Deuteronomy 21, 15 to 17 Mahir mentions where Moses is teaching and he says, if a man has two wives, the one loved and the other unloved, and both the loved and the unloved have born him children, and if the firstborn son belongs to the unloved, that on the day when he assigns his possessions as an to his son, he may not treat the son of the loved as the firstborn in preference to the son of the unloved who is the firstborn, but he shall acknowledge the firstborn, the son of the unloved by giving him a double portion of all that he has for he is the first fruits of his trait. The right of the firstborn is his. This is an instance in the Bible of what's called case law. So this is not creation design, right? This is not sitting and eating saying this is how things should be. This is a provision in the law for what happens when this occurs and somebody comes to Moses or one of the other leaders of Israel and says, what should we do? This is a provision for a case like that,

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  Which interestingly enough is what's going on in the gospels and is it Mark 10? Mark 10, yeah. Where they come to talk to Jesus about if somebody wants a divorce, he doesn't go back and argue case law. Instead he goes back to creation and looks at the creation design for marriage.

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  And you already brought up the Deuteronomy 17, 17 prohibition of polygamy, at least for Israel's kings shall not multiply wives for himself. So again, I think that's one we come back to a couple times just because in Andrea's question specifically, she says, polygamy is prevalent, never directly rebuked. There is at least that one specific case where it was directly rebuked. You have the descriptive, you can make the case that again, every time you see polygamy showing up in the Bible, it always leads to devastation. But even beyond that, there is a specific rebuke in condemnation prohibition, at least in the case of the kings. But I bring us back to that with your point about this other passage, was it Deuteronomy 21 or whatever where there is some legislation of, okay, but if you do have multiple wives, here's how you treat 'em. Here's how you treat the offspring of those wives, et cetera. Because to me you mentioned case law, the even bigger principle I think going on there is what we could call accommodation

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  Where God graciously accommodates his law to our finite and temporal and fallible, broken, sinful, cultural societal norms and just lifestyle ways of being. So for instance, I bring it back to the Deuteronomy 1717 point because that's another one where God had already specifically told them in the law, well not in the law, but he specifically said, don't have kings like he had specifically said, you don't want to have kings because when you do, they're going to tax you. They're going to turn you into slaves, they're going to take all your stuff and work you to death, and they're going to rule over you. They're going to be tyrannical. And so he said, just don't do it. I'll be your king. This is going to be great. I'll be your king. Don't be like the other nations. And then a couple chapters later he says, but if you have kings, here's how you do it. And here's the rules they ought to play by. Because again, that's telling them, giving them like you said, the creation or the best. Here's the ideal. But also I'm so gracious that even when you fall short of that, I'm going to give you some boundaries and rules to play within. So you see that in the case of like you said, divorce from the beginning, don't get divorced.

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  And yet Jesus specifically spells it out in that case in Matthew 19 where the scribes and Pharisees come back to him and say, whoa, whoa. Well then why did Moses say this thing? And Jesus said it was because of your hardness of heart. So Jesus specifically brings in this principle of accommodation like from the beginning it was one man, one woman. This is the way it's supposed to be. And that applies with polygamy versus monogamy. That applies with divorce applies any number of things when we talk about marriage. But with the idea of concept of divorce, Jesus says, God graciously accommodates and says, because you're sinful, you have hard hearts because he knows that in your sinfulness, in every case, you're not going to be able to or be willing or whatever to stick it out if you're going to get divorced anyway, let me help you know how to get divorced and how to walk forward after that in the wake of it and all that.

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  And so it's this again, accommodation. God accommodating his law to where was humanity at in culture, in society, at in their stage of development. I like to think about it in terms of our kids and our parenting. My rules are rules in our house for Bo when he's two years old are different. He has some different rules and different consequences for the rules and punishment than Elijah at almost five than Ellerie at almost nine. And all of that's going to be very different than when any of 'em are 18 and out of the house and they're no longer under our authority in the same way. And so the relationship changes, but right now we are accommodating the ideal of how we'd like to be able to relate to our kids based on where they're at in their own evolution. And it's I think a similar principle when you look at God's people throughout redemptive history and where they're at.

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  And God, again, similar thing with something like slavery. We could record the whole same episode with why didn't God specifically prohibit slavery? We could look at the points where God makes it clear in the Bible, this is not ideal. This is not the best. This is not the way it should be. And yet because of your hardness of heart, if you fall short and sin and take slaves, here's how you ought to treat 'em. Let me give you some graciously accommodate and give you some laws that help at least ensure that those slaves are protected, cared for, not abused, et cetera, et cetera. Same thing with something like polygamy.

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  And with that in the cultural context, it would've been advantageous of single women, divorced women, widowed women at that time to be protected and cared for that. That's part of the reason polygamy existed as a way to be cared for, cared well,

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  Whether fathers passed away or there weren't any brothers that way to continue on a line and be cared for. And again, this is not God saying this is the perfect plan, but providing accommodations for it. I think to go back to one thing Austin highlighted is, although there's the Deuteronomy 17 for the kings do not take multiple wives, they'll lead your hearts astray every time polygamy is mentioned in relationship to these figures, Abraham, David specifically, it's always portrayed in a negative light. It refers to the destruction, the devastation, the sinfulness that occurs. And so the Bible, although it's being descriptive in these scenarios, God's also being intentional to say and look at what happens when they partake in these polygamous relationships.

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  Going back to the very first, you mentioned lame in Genesis four, you got Kane, so not the first Phil, and obviously Adam Eve sin in the garden too, but lame is the first

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  Chapter

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  Four real villain. He's a bad dude, and yet what he's almost known for is I got these two wives and then I'm bragging to him about killing this young kid or whatever. So yeah, not someone you want to look up to, but even like you said, the other wives heroes, Abraham, you think of Abraham with Hagar, you think of Jacob, two wives, the sister wives plus the two baby mamas. I mean, in every case, like you said, it's negatively impacts their legacy. And in a lot of cases it's really kind of, yeah, their specific downfall, like we talked about Solomon, this is where it all got off the rails or David, same thing with Bathsheba.

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  And I think with Andrea's question, what do we do with David being a man after God's own heart that we look to the New Testament and the New Testament authors uphold these Old Testament figures like Abraham, like David, for their faith, not as moral examples, we're not told to mimic their behaviors, their actions, particularly their marital practices, but what we're supposed to do is to mimic the faith that they had in God. And even with that, you see David, particularly with Bathsheba coming to the reality of his sin, not only against God but against her, and then resulting in Psalm 51 with his confession of sin and coming with a broken and contr heart, that even in his failings of this, there is still a return back to God. And so again, the New Testament paints it very clear that these are not moral examples that we're supposed to follow after, but we're supposed to seek to follow after the faith that they had in Yahweh's provision for them and for his people.

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  Well, and to me it's just another stark reminder of God's redemptive power to take even the worst of our brokenness and work in spite of it and work for good. If someone like David who like you said is, I mean polygamy was the tip of the iceberg as far as his sin was concerned, co Smith

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  Murder,

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  Yeah, you got murderer and arguably interpretively rape with mess, whatever, but you got just really some egregious stuff there. And yet, look at how God describes him in the Bible and look at how God uses him in spite of his sin. So to me, I think we're meant to draw such comfort from that, that there must be hope for a sinner like me as well, that man, if God can even use a polygamous murder like David I in describe him in these kinds of ways that he's not defined by his polygamy or his murder,

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  Then there's hope for me to. And I just want to pick up on something you brought up a minute ago, Thad, and just expand on it a little bit more because I do think it is an important point with, again, trying to help answer this question of, yeah, but polygamy seems so far from the ideal or whatever, icky. Why would God ever allow it at any point in time? And you started to get into the historical sort of maybe reasons for that that I think are important. So this is just a little section quote from got questions.org trying to help answer this question as well, where they say or explain, in patriarchal societies, it was nearly impossible for unmarried women to provide for herself. Women were uneducated, untrained, relying on their father's brothers husbands for provision and protection. Unmarried women were often subjected to prostitution and slavery. So God may have allowed polygamy to protect and provide for the women who otherwise would've been left destitute. A man would take multiple wives and serve as the provider and protector of all of them. Even think about the case law with regard to leverate marriage, where if your brother died, you were commanded again under the old Levitical law to take her as your wife for the sake of caring for her.

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  While definitely not ideal living in a polygamist household was far better than the alternative prostitution, slavery, starvation, in addition to this polygamy also enabled a much faster expansion of humanity, fulfilling God's command to be fruitful and increase in number multiply on the earth. Genesis nine mandate to fill the earth. So yeah, you think about, okay, once that had got used and accommodated for some of these maybe ways that that were less than ideal to help that desire to multiply and fill the earth to care for women in this culture and society where otherwise they wouldn't have been, then the old passes away, the new and better comes, and it's time for Israel and God's people. And there's obviously a new covenant in Christ and a new way of relating to him. And a lot of that old lever and Levitical laws and things pass away with accommodations for polygamy and slavery and everything else.

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  So praise God for that. One other thing I wanted to mention in the New Testament, speaking of that new covenant, new Testament that we haven't mentioned yet that I think also maybe are important to just bring in quickly on this topic of polygamy is you have the qualifications for leaders in First Timothy three in Titus, one for elders and deacons. And one of those qualifications is listed as the husband of one wife in the case of elders. And so again, we typically will get into interpretive discussions. What does that mean with regard to things like a divorce? Can you be divorced and be an elder or whatever? But I mean, you think of how that certainly applies in the case of something like polygamy, which again is just a reminder, like you said, this is obviously less than the ideal if part of what God is holding up in the list of qualifications for pastors, elders, church leaders, is the moral exemplars.

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  Part of what that means is you're the husband of one wife. And then also obviously the whole context for recording this was Ephesians five. And I do think that that's another passage that Bear is mentioning in this discussion of polygamy and thinking about how would you have to reread and try and reinterpret as a polygamist, Ephesians five, and what Paul is saying there about Christian marriage and about its purpose, not only to sanctify us to multiply and fill the earth, et cetera, but even deeper than all of that to glorify God by depicting being a representation. Marriage is like a living symbol and metaphor and reminder of Christ's relationship with the church. And what does that say for polygamy? It is like, so Christ takes multiple wives, he has multiple brides, he has the church, but then he has other churches on the side. No, no, no. So I think even thinking about the way that Paul discusses that ties that together in Ephesians five, really just implicitly would prohibit any and condemn any kind of polygamy.

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  And you see that even in the Old Testament where Axi 20 gut says, that shall have no other gods before me. And then you get to a book like Judges where God describes the people of Israel as whoring after other gods seeking to go. And that is not a good thing. You cannot serve two masters. It's a similar theme in the Old Testament of there's a relationship here and you're going out to other people. That is not a good thing. There should only be a singular relationship between God's people and God. Yeah,

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  That's good. Usually in our Christmas readings, nobody walks through the genealogies of Matthew one, one through 17. And yet after talking about this, I think it's actually worth mentioning and that not only does he use David in David's own lifetime, Jesus himself is in the line of David. And that whole cast of characters in those 17 verses are quite colorful. And so his gracious purposes for redemption are still, this is back to your point earlier, but right there in the New Testament are in contrast with people like David, people like Abraham with gigantic moral failures, rehab and rehab, and helping to exactly help till the soil so that we see really the need for a greater king. Great. David's greater son. Yeah, that's good.

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  Well, that's it for this week's episode of Ask the Pastors. Remember that you can submit your questions by visiting the info bar at West Hills or by asking them online through our website at www.westhillsstl.org, and join us next week where we address the question, why don't we like the early church? If you enjoyed this week's episode, hit that like button, subscribe and share it with a friend. Thanks so much for listening, and we'll catch you next week.