10/4/26 | Will DuVal | Philippians: The Joy of Gospel Friendship
Thad Yessa (00:06):
Welcome to the After the Sermon podcast where Pastor Will answers your follow-up questions and shares your personal applications from the sermon for the benefit of the church. I’m Thad, your host, and I’m here with Pastor Will.
Will DuVal (00:17):
Hello, hello.
Thad Yessa (00:18):
We want to remind you that with this podcast, sermons are not just a Sunday thing. Pastor Will, as we start this podcast, would you mind giving us a recap of this past Sunday’s sermon?
Will DuVal (00:30):
Love to. We were finishing Philippians two verses 19 through 30 and a sermon entitled The Joy of Gospel Friendship. And so that was our kind of driving theme of the morning was friendship, Paul’s friendship with the church in Philippi to whom he’s writing, his friendship with Timothy, whom he hopes to send to them soon, he says, his friendship with Epaphroditus, who they had sent to care for Paul. And now Paul is likely delivering this letter to then bring back with him. Paul’s sending the letter to be delivered by Epiphroditus when he makes the journey back to Philippi, to his hometown. So just all what makes for a good friend. And so we looked at the example of Paul, the example of Timothy, example of Epaphroditus, and just kind of dissected the text and even some of the chapters leading up to this and Paul’s example and tried to pull out just kind of three traits with each of these three men.
(01:47):
So nine sub points in total of what makes for a great friend, definitely some overlap there. But at the heart of it, I mean, just like Jesus said, that greater love has known than this, that he laid down his life for a friend.
(02:07):
That is sort of the undercurrent of so much of what Paul says here in his commendation of Timothy. I have no one like him because all these Christians, baby Christians in the church in Rome, they’re concerned only with their own interest. Timothy genuinely seeks and concerned with others’ interest and what’s other’s welfare above his own. Same with Epaphroditus. He’s more concerned about you worrying over him because you heard he was ill than he is even with his own health, personal health. He’s worried about your emotional health caring for him. And so that was definitely… And same with Paul, just Paul’s selfless concern for the Philippians as well. So just that was really probably more than anything, the through line in all of their examples. And again, in Jesus himself of just that a true friend, the best kind of friend is Christlike and their selfless concern for others and especially their friends above their own.
(03:26):
And again, not just that we ought to seek friends like that as Christians, but more so that we ought to seek to be friends like that for others and be Christlike in our love and our concern for those around us. And again, not what can I get out of this relationship? That’s the way the world thinks. What can you do for me? But how can I love you well? How can I serve you and be there for you? So that was, I think, probably the biggest thing. And then obviously bringing it back at the end to the gospel. And even when we’re not good friends, we have one who is, and Jesus is the best friend. He’s the friend that sticks closer than a brother like Proverbs says. And Jesus is the ultimate friend who laid down his life for enemies to make us friends with God and to reconcile us.
(04:28):
And so yeah, that was the sermon in a nutshell.
Thad Yessa (04:38):
Wonderful. Thank you. Our question we have is from Victoria. She asks, “How do you, we, handle when a good friend isn’t able to be a good friend because of what they are going through?”
Will DuVal (04:54):
Great question, Victoria. Thank you. I think this is one of those times where, again, going back to not just having good friends, but being good friends where a true friend is going to be understanding, empathetic, “Look, hey, I’m going through something here. I could really use you in my corner or whatever, but you seem like you’re not emotionally available right now or don’t have the time to get together or whatever it is because of what you got going on.” I think where we as Christians want to be the best friends, want to be leading in our understanding, our empathy, our grace, extending grace to our friends.
(05:53):
I think at the same time, you can be honest. And we talked about that yesterday as well. And a true friend tells you the truth, even when that’s hard to do. And so there can be a place for saying, “Hey, I just need you to know that kind of hurt me when I sent you that text or whatever, or reached out and didn’t get a response from you. And I know you’re going through a lot right now, but also I’m still here and I’m still sometimes going through stuff too and need friends in my corner.” But then listening. So you share and you’re honest, but then you also listen and you seek to understand and give the benefit of the doubt. I mean, you think about one Corinthians 13 and all the things that Paul says about love there. Love doesn’t keep a record of wrongs.
(07:01):
Love believes all things, hopes all things, believes the best about the other, gives the benefit of the doubt, all those things. So love forgives when friends drop the ball because they’re going to. So I think that’s all important to be said there. I mean, is there a point in time though when a friend just drops so many balls and just time and time again proves that they’re inconsistent, unreliable, not there when you need them or whatever, that you just say, “Hey, I think I’m going to have to be more intentional in which relationships I’m investing in.” Absolutely. I think there’s a time and a place for that as well where you say, “Yeah, honestly, this person just seems a lot more like the Roman immature Christians than Timothy. And this friend seems to really just be seeking their own interest and what they can get out of it.
(08:10):
And as soon as it’s inconvenient for them or whatever, they don’t show up.” And it’s not the kind of friends I want. I think yeah, there’s a room for that, a place for being honest about that. So yeah, but I think again, especially with someone who you’ve already invested with and who there’s already a connection or a relationship with, I think you want to really seek to go above and beyond in showing understanding, showing empathy, showing grace, long sufferingness, patience, all those Christian virtues. But yeah, at the same time, there’s a point when a friendship, when showing so much of that understanding and long sufferingness, and this seems to be really more about friendship, relationship on your terms and when you need me and whatever, there’s a point when it no longer… And now I put it in a different category. We’re not friends anymore so much as you’re someone I’m ministering to.
(09:30):
And obviously those lines get really blurred for us as pastors, you and I Thad, as pastors when it’s like I’m literally called and being paid to be your pastor and minister to you, but also I’m friends with most of the people at West Hills. And so the blurring of those lines of for most people at West Hills, I mean, I’m kind of pastor first. That’s my first hat that I’m called and charged with wearing is I’m pouring out myself like Paul did for the Philippians, pouring out myself for you to minister to you to meet needs and that sort of thing.
(10:16):
And then if also it works out for us to have a relationship beyond that where we’re friends and where there’s a mutual kind of ministering and sharing of hearts and interests and lives and whatever else comes with friendship, then that’s great. But it could be the opposite for some of our people listening to this podcast where it’s like you’re thinking of someone primarily as a friend, but then if time and time again, they’re proving really to be more of a ministry that God has given you like, “Hey, this is someone who there’s not so much really the mutual thing.” That’s a hard transition to make for a lot of people. So anyway, and usually probably not done without some hurt feelings and things like that. But I don’t know, hopefully something in there is helpful to you, Victoria, but thank you for asking the question.
(11:24):
So you want to read, I think she had an application point as well.
Thad Yessa (11:30):
Victoria’s application was to reach out to five people I used to do yoga with and actually pray to God on how to evangelize them, perhaps send scripture.
Will DuVal (11:40):
Yeah. Well, I’m imagining that maybe those are friends, more of casual friendships that just hearing a sermon about friendship then motivated her to think about, “Hey, how could I be an even better friend by not just doing yoga or hanging out or whatever, but being intentional about the gospel with them?” So thanks, Victoria.
Thad Yessa (12:09):
I’ll add just my one personal application and then collective application. In the sermon you encouraged, not encouraged, you told everyone of, “Hey, someone popped to mind that you should text and that.”
Will DuVal (12:26):
Encourage.
Thad Yessa (12:27):
And encourage them with that. And I didn’t do that, but I got a text from someone who sent me an encouragement and they had also come to mind for me. I was like, “Well, you’re obviously better at listening and obeying than I am because I had thought of you.” And just an encouragement of we live in just a time and age where there’s so much discouragement and we really could just benefit from seeking to be more encouraging and not even big grand gestures of just like, “Hey, I appreciate this about you, or I’m so thankful when you did this to me or spoke this word. I just hope this is encouraging to you.” And to just, again, make an intentional effort for myself, but also collectively to seek to be more encouraging and just, “Oh, I’m sure someone’s going to tell them great job for that,” but actually thanking them and encouraging them for it.
Will DuVal (13:23):
I think, we live in the connection age where social media and whatever else and just texting and phones and again, more touch points or at least opportunities for, and I would say really touchpoint. I mean, most of us are connected probably in at least communicating with more people more regularly on a day-to-day basis than ever before. And yet you just think about 50 years ago before, certainly cell phones and just you might talk to your family at the breakfast table, drive into the office, you might work in a small company or you got four other people in the office and you’re not talking to them much throughout the day because you’re each doing your little work in your cubicle or whatever it is. And just how few… And now it’s like, I mean, you could scroll, you see social media, you’re interacting, you’re getting text messages, whatever it is.
(14:28):
But all that to say, more of that communication than ever, but probably just as shallow as ever. And are we really connecting on a heart level with each other? And then even then connecting with someone on a heart level, I think it’s just easy for us to go to our life group every week or whatever and look at God’s word together and ask for prayer requests and get maybe hopefully honest about, “Yeah, it was a hard week with my three-year-old and he’s just like, I feel like I’m at my wit’s end and I need prayer and support and to have somebody say,” Yeah, that’s tough, me too, and I’ll pray for you. “And there’s encouragement in that, but what I was advocating for in the sermon is go beyond that though and give them explicit, not just the it’s encouraging to have someone pray for you or to know that they’re going through it too, but that’s different than,” Hey, I just want to remind you, you’re a good parent.
(16:03):
I’ve seen you with your kid and I’ve seen your patience with it. And yeah, I’m sure you blew it this past week and I’m sure we all do, but that one moment of frustration three days ago doesn’t define you as a parent and that’s the enemy trying to… But I just want to remind you because I feel like we all, with our insecurity, that you are a good parent and you are heaping up rewards in heaven for the way that you’re being patient and loving your child right now. And anyway, just whatever you can or need to say to them, whatever God puts on your heart to encourage them. Again, that was my thing is do that. Say that.
(17:01):
I think it’s really hard for people to explicitly encourage because it’s just about the most vulnerable thing you can do. I think it’s actually arguably harder to look someone in the eyes and tell them something positive about themselves than it is to look someone in the eyes and tell them something negative about yourself. And whether that’s because we’re just really that self-absorbed that it’s easier for me to still focus on myself and how I’ve blown it, that’s hard enough for people to be honest about. But then for me to say, “Hey, let me tell you about how sinful I am,” is actually easier than for you to respond to that by saying, “I hear you. And also let me tell you about how loved you are by God, and let me remind you of his grace and encourage you in that way.” But we need it.
(18:00):
So do it, be a good friend and encourage.
Thad Yessa (18:06):
What we pray that this is –
Will DuVal (18:09):
I want to add my own.
Thad Yessa (18:09):
Oh, I’m sorry. I added my own application. Pastor Will has his own questions and
Will DuVal (18:14):
Answers
Thad Yessa (18:15):
And applications.
Will DuVal (18:15):
Well, because we only got the one question from Victoria, I had some others that came to mind. And again, I hope that the reason for that was that hopefully the sermon was encouraging and was challenging at the same time. But it certainly, again, was not comprehensive, exhaustive. And so there were definitely things that, for me, as I was preparing that I either had to cut or just never even made it in the first draft kind of thing that I thought, again, I want to model for you and encourage, exhort you to be an active listener and reader that if I had read Philippians 2:19 through 30 the week prior or Saturday night before showing up on Sunday, like we encouraged people to do, and then showed up and then not heard these points addressed in the sermon, I would maybe hopefully be raising my hand and saying, “Hey, tell me more about this.” Or, “I didn’t hear you address this.” So here’s, I don’t know, six or seven things that came to mind.
(19:31):
I’ll try and do them quickly here. One is the title itself and the theme, because I made it all about friendship. Interestingly, the word friend friendship doesn’t even appear in the text, right? So that would be an interesting question for someone to just notice and say, “Hey, you made this all about friendship.” It’s not explicitly in the text. So just curious, maybe that’s more of a sermon methodology thing of how did you make that decision to title it The Joy of Gospel Friendship and to take that kind of angle on this text? Because I mean, it does seem implied that Paul is friendly with the Philippians, that he and Timothy, but even then the relationship that Paul discusses with Timothy is I’m like a father to him. He’s like my son in the gospel. And then he talks about Epaphroditus as his brother. So it’s more familial even than it is the language of friendship.
(20:43):
So I mean, that would be just an interesting one. Speaking of the son and father, that was another point that again occurred to me in the sermon prep was where Paul says… Well, let me just pull it up quickly and read that particular line of it in verse 22 where Paul says, “Timothy’s proven worth how as a son with a father, he has served with me in the gospel.” And I was thinking about that. That’s kind of a weird connection to say, “Like a son with a father, he served with me in the gospel.” Is Paul saying that all good sons are going to serve with their fathers in the gospel, but most fathers don’t serve in the gospel at all because most fathers aren’t even Christians. So what is he saying there? And as I think more about it, what I think he’s saying is, and what he’s assuming there when he says that and makes that point is that back in this day in the Greco-Roman world, I mean, it was just assumed that, I don’t know what the percentage would be, but I mean the default certainly would be that a son would, his occupation, it wasn’t like you went to college and then what interested you and what was the job market?
(22:18):
It was like you went into the family business. Your family had a business if your dad was a baker and then you would apprentice at the bakery and then you would take it over when he died or retired or I don’t think they retired. I mean just when he died,
(22:35):
Average life expectancy, 40 to 50. So then you’re taking it over. And so I think what Paul is assuming here and saying is for me, Paul was my family business. We know Paul was a tent maker from the book of Acts, but that’s just so he could pay the bills and not have to bother the Corinthians with taking up love offerings for him and you really ought to be paying me to be your pastor, but if you’re not going to do it, I didn’t want to be a burden to you. So I pulled my own weight. I sold tents, made tents. But his real business was, what he really was all about was the gospel, was going all over the known world, preaching the gospel, planting churches, raising up elders to hand it off to. That was his business and was the gospel business. And so he’s saying in the same way that if my real business was tent making and Timothy was my son, he’d be making tents.
(23:42):
And so Paul is saying, I think, because again, Paul didn’t get married, didn’t have his own biological children, Timothy wasn’t going to go into whatever his pagan father’s business, like I said, he probably, we don’t know, he was probably disowned by his father for not following the pagan gods or whatever. So here they’ve got this spiritual relationship and Paul’s like a father. Timothy wanted to go into the family business, the gospel business. So anyway, that’s just a, but again, what I’d be kind of thinking about asking.
(24:21):
Paul says in verse 23, “I hope therefore to send Timothy just as soon as I see how it will go with me.” What’s he saying there? I didn’t talk about that phrase at all in the sermon. Again, maybe people just kind of knew this already, but what I think he means is when I see how it will go with me, I guess Paul’s saying Paul’s sick and he’s got to recover. We don’t hear about Paul saying he’s sick and Epaphroditus was sick. What’s he saying? Again, I think what he’s saying is my trial. So Paul’s under house arrest in Rome, probably writing this around the year 60, 61 AD.
(25:08):
So he’s waiting to stand trial in Rome. And then he’s hoping and expecting, like he told us in chapter one, maybe I’ll be put to death for the gospel for Christ, to live as Christ, to die is game, but probably not. I think my expectation is I’ll get out, I’ll be released and I’ll be able to come and keep ministering to you and that’s better for you. That was the one you preached. So Paul’s thinking that’s probably going to happen, hopeful. Actually, we know historically he gets his head chopped off in the year 64 AD by the Emperor Nero.
(25:49):
But anyway, I think that’s what Paul is saying is that he wants to keep Timothy with him until he can get this trial wrapped up and just in case he’s like, “I can’t send you both Epaphroditus and Timothy and then not having anyone to do my grocery shopping for me.” So that’s that. I made the point in passing, I quoted commentator Kent Hughes about it, that Epaphroditus was not a shepherd. He didn’t have a flock. He wasn’t a pastor like Timothy, like Paul. He was just a layman. Well, the text doesn’t actually say that. So if somebody in listening had caught that, I mean, that was just a question that, again, I made that point, but I didn’t actually support it from the text or anything and show you here’s how we know that Epaphroditus wasn’t actually a… He could have been the pastor in the church in Philippi for all we know.
(26:52):
And he was the first to raise his hand and be like, “Oh, I’m going to go take support and bring this to… So why does Kent Hughes tell us that he was just a layman? How do we know that?” God had mercy on him. I think that was something that most on Epaphroditus that is. Now I’m skipping down now to verse 27. Epaphroditus was ill near to death, but God had mercy on him and not on him only, but on me also. But that point of God having mercy on him was just something that a lot of the commentaries had made sure to point out that we saw that today in an age of modern medicine, we so often are so quick to, “Yeah, I got sick, went to urgent care, got the antibiotics, took him, got better.” It’s like, “Wow, just cut God all the way out of that equation.
(27:46):
You don’t need God to get better at all.” But we forget however you want to think about… Obviously we got the health and wealth, we got Christian science, but anyway, that God’s in every part. I mean, God helped those drugs get developed. God helped those physician get trained. God helped the diagnostic tools to diagnose, “Yep, influenza A, here’s what you do,” whatever. So just kind of a reminder that we need to also remember that God is active and working behind the scenes in way more personal and involved ways than we often give him credit in his kind of sovereignty. I’m thinking about Ruth and being in the hospital and just going home today after a week and a half in the hospital and just Chad’s texting us and how much he was… Again, as much as Chad’s a doctor and yet he’s seeing God’s hand in every part of her healing and that’s encouraging and we should.
(29:00):
Let’s see. Verse 28B, Paul says, “God had mercy on me. Also, lest I should have sorrow…” Oh, sorry. Paul says, “I’m more eager to send Epaphroditus back to you that you may rejoice in seeing him and that I may be less anxious also.” And part of my thinking there is, okay, why would Paul be anxious? Is Paul anxious for the Philippians? Is he like Epaphroditus? Is Paul worried that they’re worried about him and he doesn’t want him to be worried? Is Paul worried for the spiritual health of the church that he’s hearing these rumblings of disunity in the church and they need maybe Epaphroditus was their pastor and they need their pastor back to set them straight and like, “Hey, y’all quit fighting.” Is Paul worried for Epaphroditus?
(29:54):
Paphroditus though he was going to be caring for Paul by the time he gets to Rome, Ephraiditis is on death’s doorstep. Paul had to potentially nurse Epaphroditus back to hell. So now Paul is taking a breath, but now he’s thinking, man, he’s got a family back home in Philippi. And whatever it was that God healed him from, the virus is still in there latent and he gets sick again or the cancer or it comes back or whatever it is. I don’t want him to die here with me in Rome and not get to get back and say goodbye to his family. Let’s send you back. I’m anxious for you, for Epaphroditus. I don’t know. So that was just, again, an interesting detail that didn’t have time to talk about much. Verse 29, Paul says, Paul exhorts the church in Philippi. He says, “So receive him in the Lord with all joy and honor such men.” That’s interesting.
(30:57):
Because Paul said in the verse right before that, 28, “I’m eager to send Epaphroditus back to you that you may rejoice at seeing him again.” So he expects them to rejoice at seeing Epaphroditus when he gets there, delivers this letter. But then he immediately says, “So receive him in the Lord with all joy.” And he makes it, again, a command, an imperative. Why? Why does he have to command them to receive him with joy if he’s already set the expectation, the verse before, like I want to send him so that you can rejoice and so that you can not be so anxious about him? Well, a lot of the commentaries point out that Paul was potentially anticipating that the Philippians would have, when they see Epaphroditus back, maybe they sent him to Paul with the expectation that Epaphroditus would be there for a year, a whole year caring for Paul’s needs, making sure Paul was taken care of.
(32:07):
And then instead of that, he comes back a month or two or three later. We don’t know how long Epaphroditus was there in Rome before Paul sends him back. Maybe he’s only there three months or something. And then he shows back up in town. Again, no cell phones, no whatever. He shows up knocking on the door of the church and they’re like, wait a minute, what are you doing? We sent you with a job to take care of Paul. It’s Paul. This is the guy who founded the church. He’s the greatest Christian of all time and we’re letting him down. We took up this whole offering for him. What are you doing back here? And Paul’s maybe anticipating that the Philippians would be mad at Epaphroditus, disappointed, that they would be embarrassed or something like that. And Paul wants to make sure they know, look, he’s gone above and beyond.
(33:03):
He actually wanted to stay here and fulfill the rest of his duty, but I’m the one who made the choice to send him back. I’m too worried about y’all and you’re worried for him. I want him to get back there and I’m good. I got Timothy. I’m good. Thanks for the money. I’m sending him back. So anyway, these are all just like, I mean, there’s so much going on, again, if you read between the lines on this, but you got to do a really close reading of the text. And I just didn’t have time to get to all this. But I think it’s the kind of questions that a really active listener of the text would be asking these kinds of questions. The last one I’ll ask and maybe even just kind of leave it hanging with this one. In verse 30 at the end, Paul says, “Receive him in the Lord with joy for he nearly died for the work of Christ, risking his life to complete what was lacking in your service to me.” That one almost, you could read it, I guess, two different ways.
(34:12):
I mean, you could read it as Paul saying, “Look, again, I’m being super encouraging. Thank you so much for your partnership in the gospel. Thank you for this bag of money you brought with Epaphroditus.” But also money in and of itself, as I’m sitting here under house arrest, not allowed to leave, money doesn’t necessarily… Somebody’s got to go and buy the groceries and bring them to me and whatever. And so there’s still something lacking in your service and I needed a physical human being to do that and to minister to me. And Epaphroditus is the one who raised his hand. So let’s pat him on the back. And maybe it’s Paul still, again, anticipating them being mad at Epaphroditus and like, “What are you doing back here? We sent you on this mission.” And Paul’s saying, “Hey, look, he’s the one… Don’t be mad at him.
(35:11):
He volunteered for this dangerous job that none of y’all were going to do. So your service was lacking. Is he being passive aggressive almost? Like your service was lacking to me?” I don’t know. It’s just a phrase that kind of stuck out to me as well. But anyway, lots of just fascinating details in the text here. I hope that in the weeks to come as we get even more of Philippians and wherever we head from there, to encourage y’all to be asking these kinds of questions and just make for a better podcast.
Thad Yessa (35:46):
Well, we hope that this has been edifying to you as you seek to be changed and to love God more as you apply God’s word after the sermon. So go and continue to apply the sermon and make disciples. And Lord willing, we’ll catch you here next week.